Saturday, May 4, 2013

8 weeks out

Height: 5'10". Current Weight: 131.8 lbs. We are 8 weeks out from NPC Bikini-San Jose Fit Expo. 7 solid weeks into cutting. Almost half way there!

Today's Topic: Pain, Fatigue, and Self-Worth
My coach always says "Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional." My body is sore, fatigued, and I constantly find myself rolling out my hips, quads, and hamstrings to relieve some of the tightness. But this is GOOD. I could whine and complain on squat days when my hips get tight and the weight is heavy, but I don't (not seriously anyway) because I know that every extra rep--every little change I make in my programming--eventually adds up and helps me become the very best me. Yesterday after deadlifting I got to watch my coach and his trainer partner do their own training. I did NOT envy their heavy sets of squats, hack squats, lunges and hypers, but it was nice to see the flip side of things ;) Here are all of our belts in a row:

But yesterday really got me thinking about discomfort and my own sense of self-worth. Training doesn't work if you go in and do the same thing day in, day out and don't increase your weights, reps, intensity or any other facet of your programming. But I'm learning that the same thing needs to happen with me internally. Sometimes I get stuck in a rut, and I'm so busy with school and work and everything else on my plate that my diet eventually repeats itself day after day and I find myself going through the repetitive motions of life to just make it by. But I don't want to just get by. I want to really LIVE and LOVE this life I'm living, and that means stepping out of my comfortability and into the unknown. And it's so, so scary to step out of the comfortable home you've built for yourself in the hopes that you'll find something better for you, something that will truly make you thrive. But if I've learned anything throughout this fitness journey, it's that I didn't get stronger by squatting the bar every day. I increased the weight incrementally, and I've stumbled through sets, but I'm finally getting into a groove because I'm pushing and challenging and--most importantly--not CHEATING myself. I need to have the inner strength to look at the person I've become and LOVE the girl who overcame.

Feeling: Good! Haven't been nearly as hungry/craving things at night so the diet has been steady and easy. I just got a new pre-workout from my coach that smells and tastes like delicious cotton candy. Really excited because it doesn't make me jittery and really helps me FOCUS. (Ha, SNS FocusXT). Feeling a little anxious with final paper due in a couple weeks, but really looking forward to honing in on my training and diet to kick butt this last half of prep.


  1. Hi! I just found your blog and I am so glad I did! I live in SF and am 19 weeks out from my first ever bikini comp! I'm 30, 5'9 and 143 lbs - and TERRIFIED!! I just signed up with a trainer who is a bikini competitor and do as much reading as possible in my free time. I just sat here and read through your entire fitness journey! haha. Anyway - you look great!! I would be so excited to have your progress!! I'm looking forward to creeping on you until your comp day!! Thanks so much for documenting it :)

    1. Thanks for following me! I appreciate it :D

  2. Hi Ilyssa!

    You are a total inspiration, keep up the great work!

    I know your trainer plans out your workouts, but if you had to recommend a plan to a girl wanting to get your look while on a cut, what would you recommend? Stronglifts, New rules of lifting, jaimie eason?

    1. Hey lady, I do the big four lifts. Bench, Squat, Dead, and OHP. I follow that up with minimal accessory work.