3 days out

Depletion starts tomorrow. I am the leanest I have ever been in my whole life. I feel amazing. Been getting in great training lately, and have felt so so so so so blessed by the company I have gotten to enjoy that training with. Y'all will see pictures from the show and I'll explain ;) Currently at normal-negative 100 intake of calories with a reduced carb load. Tomorrow, low carbs, low sodium, low fiber aka no Quest Bars. I have to shave my whole body--joy! Just gonna get work over with tonight and clean, and prep all day tomorrow. Friday is gonna be killer--little to no water and tanning, and check-in, and early bed time. Luckily I'll have some help that night and Saturday morning waking up at 4 am to start eating every 2 hours or so. Wish me luck guys. Please shoot me some e-mails or texts or instagram messages with well-wishes because I'm nervous and I'm gonna need them. THANK YOU!

5 days out PEAK WEEK

Black and White suit picture because the color will be a surpriseeeee. 5 Days Away. I'm pretty bloated in these pictures because of increased water intake. But I know that the final two days water intake will be cut down and carb loading will begin, which is exciting. Coach completely revamped my entire Peak Week diet and saved me from crashing and burning in a broscience hell :) He made things easier on me and I'm hoping and praying that my carb intake works out and I look really dry on stage. I have everything set to go. I just need to get my nails done Thursday and pretty much shave my whole body that night to get ready for the tan on Friday. Meh.

The amazing experiences I've had in this past week could not have come at a better time. It's been full of yoga, clean food, gym sessions, adventures in San Francisco--everything I've needed to distract me from the anxiety of my mind that feels the need to control. Of course I'm freaking out--I get to eat real food in 5 days!--but moreso than that I've been so so blessed by the support that has been poured out from all around me (by a wonderful man, in particular, as well!) I am so happy with this life that I live, and I finally feel so whole. It's really refreshing that this boost of confidence and peace is coming right when I need it most. I know God has me in His arms, and I know I'm gonna rock that stage because I've set myself up for success. Posing comes no problem. Heel-walking is no problem. Joy and Happiness exude from my face no problem. I'm not worried, I'm not "sick of dieting," I'm not "over it," I'm just ready to GO.

Again, to touch on my peak week diet. We're moreso going to regulate sodium intake and cut carbs in a few days. Right now I'm smooth sailing. The MORNING OF competition I will have to wake up every two hours to take in some high carb meals so that I can pretty much swell my muscles. I will update again on either Wednesday or Thursday to let you all know how I'm doing. Follow me on instagram @ohilyssa for more!

7 days out

So I am not doing an update today because I want to see how the first day of peak week goes. I will update tomorrow. Wish me luck!

1.5 weeks out

Height: 5'10". Current Weight: 128.4 lbs. We are 1.5 weeks out from NPC Bikini-San Jose Fit Expo. 13.5 solid weeks into cutting.

Today's Topic: The Final Countdown
So now we are 10 days out. This means I can officially count DAYS until I compete. I'm sitting here, drinking my coffee, and reflecting about the incredible experience this has been. I have learned and grown so much, spiritually and physically. I've learned that I CAN push the boundaries of fitness and I CAN be that girl with the rockin' body I never thought I would have. I'm not going to say I have been able to let go of enviousness (girls like Jessica Arevalo are the bane of my existence--in a good way haha!) but I have been able to learn to love my body and truly see the value of good nutrition and a lifestyle focused on fitness. Positivity breeds positivity. I'm hoping that so much good comes out of this...even if that means competing 6 months down the road because I have so much to work on to bring a better package. I'm hoping that you all, my regular readers, have gotten a positive glimpse into the world I live and I truly hope I've inspired at least one person to go get after their fitness dreams.

Today I'm eating a 2 quest bars (I know I know), oatmeal, coffee, a banana, PB2...a greek yogurt! SAY WHATTTTT...4 oz ground turkey and egg whites...4 oz chicken breast 1/2 cup broccoli...1/2 cup cottage cheese...4 oz chicken breast 1/2 cup broccoli, 6 oz sweet potato...and then 2 mini protein cheesecakes. I have 127 calories left over to use how I please. I benched / did upper body training this morning at 7:30 followed by 22 minutes of a brisk walk on the incline treadmill. Coach said that instead of decreasing my calories, I can do small amounts of REAL cardio every day this week. I know I say all the time that I do minimal to NO cardio...but I'm trying to keep my calories high enough to function throughout the day, so I'd rather do some traditional bunnyrabbit training to help me with that. I'm hoping to walk across stage at around 126-127 lbs.

Tomorrow I'm going into the city to practice yoga with a friend at Urban Flow. It's been a hot minute since I got to flow at that studio so I'm super excited to get back to it. Woke up this morning and did some sun salutations before benching to get the blood moving. The bench workout was AWESOME and I think my stability is getting so much better. Would LOVE to bench 135 some day...had a dream I did the other night and then woke up and was so sad :( Meh. Gotta get that 275 deadlift first...I'll be crazy happy the day that happens (well over 2 times body weight). Speaking of powerlifting movements: I think the next phase of this blog (after the results updates of course) will be a bulking update / strength update. I'm most likely going to stop taking pictures of my scantily clad booty and upload videos of lifting days. Of course, I will still show some progress pictures but because I will be in a bulking phase, it won't be nearly the amount of pictures I've taken during the cut. How many of you would be down to still follow my strength gains? PLEASE don't be afraid to comment on my posts either! I'd love to hear feedback from you all.

I don't really have much to write other than that...keeping my head down. Super excited...though not so much for Saturday when I start cutting carbs. EEP.

2 weeks out

Height: 5'10". Current Weight: 128.4 lbs. We are 2 weeks out from NPC Bikini-San Jose Fit Expo. 13 solid weeks into cutting.

Today's Topic: Trust and Support, How I Went From Lazy and Chubby to Fit Inspiration?
For as much hate as I got early on in this prep / weight loss journey, now I'm receiving such an overwhelming amount of love. All of you are wonderful--I don't go a day without a text from SOMEONE telling me that I'm looking awesome or am inspiring them, etc. I'm just so aghast that this is all happening. Why me? Why am I so blessed to live this life? I am so incredibly humbled by your kind words and support. I am so proud to announce that I will be joining the Serious Nutrition Solutions team in a minor role as a social media rep--something I never could have dreamed of doing. Not sure of all the details currently, but I am so overjoyed that a company saw my potential and my love for their products and offered me a solution to my social media itch! This blog has become rather successful, and with the support I have received elsewhere on the web (including Reddit and Instagram), I really hope that this is just the start of a "side job". My dream is to teach English, but with my newfound passion for fitness and lifting, and my desire to get NASM-certified, I think it's very possible that I could pursue something bigger (once I build a LOT more muscle over the next year). I think a great goal to have would be, in about 2 years time, get a pro card for the IFBB...and I think I could obtain that goal if I stick to the plan and keep pursuing excellent training and nutrition. But it's UNBELIEVABLE to me that just 8.5 months ago I was sitting on my couch eating ice cream bars and Pringles...and now I'm here. I don't mean that AT ALL in a vain way...I just wish I had started so much sooner. I LOVE fitness, and I hope I inspire some of you to love it too.

Today marks Hell Week #1. 100% on point diet. No semi-cheating (aka a lick extra of cottage cheese or hand measuring my oats to about half a cup). We are going STRICT--weighing everything down to the gram and making every macronutrient count. Tonight will be my very last "ice cream"--a Skinny Cow-- until exactly 2 weeks from now. That means no Arctic Zeros either (that extra 150 calories could be expended on chicken and steak and brown rice--clean foods that are non-processed/non-engineered). I will let myself have a Quest bar a day (today is my last day with 2 Quest Bars) because those calories could be spent elsewhere. I need to start controlling my sodium and carb intake now so that Peak Week isn't SO dramatic (no sauces, no sodium, little to no carbs for 3 days, etc). Coach is still reading, still experimenting, and I'm still trusting. And that's what this is all about--TRUST. I need to trust in myself, trust in my coach, trust in the feedback I'm getting from teammates and loved ones. This is now a mental game. I've done everything I could possibly do to get as lean as I've gotten. All we have left is a nice hypertrophy week followed by drying out. I will be MISERABLE next Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday (June 24, 25, & 26) because it'll be the hardest diet I've ever been on. But internally I know I've done the spiritual work to help send me through to the final stage.

I have jumped the hurdles of fear and doubt, I got rid of my major bloating (mainly by going off birth control and not eating 4 Quest Bars a day), and I've incorporated tiny bits of real cardio into my plan. I'm so so so glad I trusted Zach when he said "you do NOT need to do cardio every day, twice a day...or even every day...or even, meh Eff it, don't do cardio unless it's yoga." I had read SO much going into this prep, and I'd watched girls on instagram and so on and so forth. All of them seemed to be doing TONS of cardio (you won't find me at a cardio machine but MAYBE once a week). All of them seemed to be eating chicken and tilapia and broccoli and asparagus. And yeah, I eat 3/4 of those things...but I ATE REAL FOOD, DAMNIT. I ate what fit in my macros. That meant lots of egg whites, oats, almonds, avocado, salads, filet mignons, greek yogurt, Chipotle sides of steak and chicken, carrots, brown rice, quinoa...and my diet changed EVERY day. I thought that the key to success was prepping 6 meals of chicken and broccoli. Nope. No way in hell I was going to limit myself to a cookie cutter diet or not let myself have some frozen yogurt if I wanted it. Of course, my diet is actually what I will stick with forever--when I'm done prep I will just eat MORE of what I've already been eating--but it's been fun to experiment and change things up to fulfill my macros for that day. I've learned SO much about my body so that next time I compete, once I know what I need to improve, I can really dial in. It's a game, and while I was obsessed with filling out MyFitnessPal, I never obsessed about eating the same things and I can guarantee NO ONE has heard me complain about "dieting" or "how hard it is"... because it HASN'T been hard... it's been delicious and fun the whole way through. The only thing making it hard now is the fact that I am SO. CLOSE. TO. CHEESECAKE. AHHHHH! :P

2.5 weeks out

Height: 5'10". Current Weight: 128.6 lbs. We are 2.5 weeks out from NPC Bikini-San Jose Fit Expo. 12.5 solid weeks into cutting.

Today's Topic: Holding Fast and Setting Yourself Up For Success
So I've got everything set up. Scheduled my tan and bought my jewelry. Just waiting on my suit to come in and then I will pay my competition fee...everything is really expensive but I have been budgeting for so long for this because I KNEW I needed to set myself up for success. Maybe in the future if I pull a true sponsorship I can get some of the fees alleviated from my aching, working back haha! Speaking of: something SO cool was Quest Nutrition sending me a care package of SIX boxes FULL of bars. I write about Quest all the time, and post about them on Instagram, so I am so grateful for the support. Additionally, I'm hoping I can do well enough at this competition that Serious Nutrition Solutions can hook me up with some product. I've used both their fat burner and their pre-workout...INCREDIBLE. I'm absolutely obsessed. I cannot wait to try their X-gels and other products. Last night Jeff and I got to pose for awhile at 24hr and it was definitely the best posing session I have ever had. I felt lean, confident, and as if all my poses were strong and tight. Jeff helped me with the minor details like my arm tightness and my breathing. I need some slight pivots to really show how thin my sides are, while still maintaining an erect and tight position. Posing is EXHAUSTING. But I need to feel REALLY good offstage so that the nerves settle on stage. I just hope I don't fall!

I'm holding fast to my diet...AND I JUST DISCOVERED NON-FAT COTTAGE CHEESE OH MY GOSH. I've NEVER eaten cottage cheese in my life and now I want to cry because I've just now found it when I could have been eating it all of prep. I'm obsessed! I've been eating some nice filet mignon's this week by saving all my fat calories and minimizing my avocado and Quest bar intake. Thats been so nice. I'm burnt out on prepping food--I have NO desire... so I have been buying grilled chicken breasts and hardboiled eggs at Whole Foods. Sides of chicken and steak at Chipotle too! It fits my macros and its delicious. Arctic Zero ice cream has been saving my life at the end of the night too! 150 cal and NO FAT. :) Delicious...though many people think it tastes like frozen whey protein (which it is!).

I found that I was getting so so so obsessed with this competition that it was affecting my health the past couple weeks. Now that I've refocused and started spending time with my friends rather than just the gym and my cat (HAHAHA!) I've found that I have the ability to set new goals for myself. I'm planning on getting my NASM certification so I can finally feel comfortable giving out diet plans and taking on clients on an online / in person basis. Be on the lookout for that, fit fam! My friends and I are also planning some trips (Yosemite, Lake Tahoe, Vancouver?) which gives me something else to plan. And my coach and I are figuring out my peak week diet and how to reverse diet after (I only get Saturday night after the show and Sunday all day to gorge. Cheesecake factory=two pieces of cheesecake and a huge burger). Monday morning we go back to the drawing board aka the squat rack. Squatting twice a week til September / October. Gotta get those legs up. Clean bulk=more muscle=better package next show AND a stronger physique for powerlifting meets in the fall. Hoping for a 135 bench, 195 Squat, 275 Deadlift.

Feeling: Grateful. I have received such a ridiculous amount of support from all over. I was having a hard time and my friends and family picked me up and helped put my morale back together. I am gonna rock the stage--even if I get last place. I keep reminding myself= are your choices and actions conducive to your goals and aspirations? I want to inspire...but I'm finding that I am the one who is truly inspired but the love that has poured out from the mouths and hearts of those closest to me. Thanks so much to each and every one of you. Wish me luck!

3 weeks out

Height: 5'10". Current Weight: 129 lbs. We are 3 weeks out from NPC Bikini-San Jose Fit Expo. 12 solid weeks into cutting.

Today's Topic: "If It Fits Your Macros" and Absolute Joy
I did my photos a little different for this post because I had to steal my friend Amber's bathroom haha. Not my usual lighting set-up...but doesn't matter, had to get those photos done. Sorry I didn't post this yesterday, but I wrote this blog post then and now. I'm in Southern California visiting friends and family currently. I'm actually writing this as I wait for my Dads and my sister to get ready because we are all going out to dinner at Morton's tonight! I've planned my calories and macronutrients accordingly so that I can have: A 6 oz Filet Mignon (with no au jus or butter) for 340 calories: (16g F, 0g C, 48g P), steamed broccoli, steamed asparagus (Around 70 calories all together) and...wait for it...A BAKED POTATO (plain!)...which I will share with my sister so I'll only be eating half. I'm sure there will be brussel sprouts on the table too, so I may have a bite or two of those (I've eaten little to NO fat grams all day just so that I could fit this in). I practiced heated yoga this morning with my best friend (who I got to spend the last day or so with), and then I trained delts at the gym today. So after two strenuous workouts, careful calorie watching with a banana (sans PB2), a small chicken salad, and some Arctic Zero to tide me over until tonight... I am so ready to eat. This trip has been really really really successful in terms of my diet~ I never once took a bite of something I shouldn't have!

I'm all about the saying IIFYM (if it fits your macros). My coach and I discussed the potential of a cheat meal on certain weeks, but decided to opt out so that I could just do an IIFYM schedule. I eat extremely clean, nothing processed other than Quest Bars and the occasional Garden Patty. But sometimes, in order to remain sane, I'll let myself have a few ounces of frozen yogurt (always no sugar added and no fat) on a heavy lifting day because I need the carbs. Or maybe I will let myself try that Chicken Tikka Masala sauce--BECAUSE IT FITS MY MACROS--but then I realize that the spices mess with my indigestion and cause me to bloat for the next several days (this just happened last week--stupid decision on my part. I'll have to wait until after my show to have that sauce again). But you live and you learn and I'm not ever going to starve myself or prevent myself from having that extra piece of fruit or that one scoop more of Oatmeal if I can fit it in to my daily limit.

There is NO perfect diet for anyone and so it drives me nuts to see bikini competitors living solely off chicken and broccoli, oats, egg whites and protein. I've cut out ALL protein powder from my diet (other than the 1/3 scoop I put in my oats once or twice a week) because I didn't want my calories going to something that wasn't satiating or filling. I cut out greek yogurt from my diet recently because it was 200 calories I felt I could spend elsewhere in delicious steak (similar fat profile, but no carbs, and way more protein). I cut out vegetables for a little while to focus on quinoa and brown rice, and have only recently RE-incorporated them back because I felt like I missed them. It really is up to you to watch your body, figure out what you react well to and what seems to make you bloat, and then adjust. YES, I'm constantly checking MyFitnessPal, YES I'm a little obsessive about my macronutrient information...but I find it SO much fun to figure out a plan for myself every day. I used to prep all 6-8 meals for myself because that's what I heard other competitors did. Of course I still prepare enough chicken and turkey for several meals still, but now instead of pre-packaging my tupperwares, I decide in the moment what sounds good to me. It gives me that bit of freedom to keep me sane.

Feeling: So here is the Absolute Joy part of the blog post. Emotionally these past few days have been SO wonderful. I've been able to spend some blessed time with great friends and family here in Southern California...I've been able to refocus and get some much needed support. I realized this past few days how much I really MISS so many people...and hopefully I will be able to rekindle friendships that I had been neglecting. Sometimes I get way too focused on ME...and while it's good to be aware of your choices and actions, you need to take other people's lives and goals too! So, sorry my friends if I've been way to focused on MYSELF and not enough on spending time asking YOU how you're doing...that will change. But in any case, I have finally felt happy and CONFIDENT the past couple days. I'm sitting here in the San Diego airport now waiting for my plane and there are a couple of fitness competitors next to me: a female Figure and a male Physique. I know because they still have bits of their competition tan and because yesterday was NPC Southern California Championships...but anyway, it makes me SO excited to know that I'M NEXT! NPC San Jose is the next major competition...it's really here!! I cannot wait to just get out there on stage and strut my stuff. Hopefully lots of you can come watch me compete!